Barons Season Preview: Position by Position

The Season Ahead…

Wingers:

The Barons return all wingers besides Kristen Sutton from last years team that averaged a whopping 1.4 Jagger bombs per minute, as well as 6.71 goals per game.  One big change this season is the movement of Captain Ryan Schwepfinger to the wing on the first line.  What this means, probably nothing, but we’ll make him feel special.  Erik Yost will cover the other wing of the shift, oh what are we saying, he’ll stumble around the crease and still score more goals than people that can actually skate.  Chris Morando takes a break from being a gigantic nerd to play wing opposite of the seemingly always-intoxicated Drew Sullivan.  Nic Sanders returns for another season, which means that the AARP must be a new official sponsor of the Barons.  He’ll play opposite of Ben Reinke on the fourth line, but no one really cares, cause who the fuck is that guy?  The fifth line features our rookie Zach Wilson, who will provide the blooper reel for the team.  We put him on the same line as Josh Samuels, which really isn’t fair to the ice, it will see far too much man ass.

Centers:

Yeah, the Barons actually attempt to distinguish between centers and wingers, but we all know it’s just who takes the damn faceoff, otherwise it’s a clusterfuck.  Colby MacMillan starts his first game as 1^st line catheter, I mean center.  Can he hold his liquor, I mean own?  Playoff MVP Andrew Bickell centers the second line.  I’d have a joke about that, but the dude kinda dominates.  Brian Williams will be centering the third line, bet he didn’t know that til this was released.  Michael Cozzi will center a line constructed with the only people on the team that can stand to be in one place more than 2 and a half minutes with him.

Defense:

The Barons will rotate seven defenders that are all basically indistinguishable from each other. Rick Leeman will score a goal at some point when the other team mistakes him for a garden gnome and Matthew Ripley will make an impassionate pre game speech that no one will take seriously and will sulk onto the ice like a hurt dog.  Kyle Coates will continue to be, wait, who the fuck is Kyle Coates? Does anyone know?  I have nothing written anywhere about him, besides that he has a massive dick.  Our resident old fart Joey Balla will be pushed onto the ice in his wheelchair by his nurse/mistress and Chris Wilkin will continue to be a ginger.  Ryan Studley will continue to be a thug.  His only goal this season was to “not get kicked out”, a truly honorable goal.  Andrew Schwepfinger will finish up the defensive rotation and will provide the Barons with more sandbagging than during Hurricane Katrina

Goaltending:

Corey Olson is a god.  We are not worthy of being in is awesome presence.  Everyone should bow at his feet and kiss his toes.  Bring him lavish gifts and sing his praises on high.

Overall Outlook:

The Barons look to have a promising season with many hard games leading up to…. Oh fuck it, WE’RE GONNA WIN THE DAMN THING!!!!

Barons Season Preview: The Prospectus

Prospectus

Three division championships and an IHL championship distinguish The Barons as an elite example of program consistency par excellence.  As a result, this season sees the Barons honored to form part of the IHL’s pioneering Tuesday 11:15 Division, pitted home and away against traditional foes the Wanderers and the Silver Seven.  Undaunted by this challenge and motivated by the Barons Winter 2011 championship, the members of this spring’s campaign share a similar resolve and unwavering aspirations: to establish their own deserved legacy within the program’s rich history and to restore its place atop the IHL’s throne.

Like the myth of the Phoenix, each successive season seems to be born from the ashes of its recent past.  The graduation of last year’s two Gentlemen/women-Warriors means that the challenge of reassembling now lies primarily at the feet of the 18 battle-ready players who return to the Barons roster this season, all of whom saw action in all seven games last year. In addition, this season welcomes a maturing prospect to the Barons. All of the new additions are certain to step in and satisfy the team's role-playing and depth needs. This interdependent group is determined to display the traditions of excellence and pride that have become trademarks both within and outside of Barons Nation.

The squad enters the fall devoted, having acquired a wealth of experience from intensive off-season individual training regimens, as well as unique club and camp opportunities..  Consequently, this year's Barons stands atop the platform built by its predecessors, boasting collective mettle, team-first moral fiber, and a proud battle cry. A shrewd understanding of the game's intricacies and an unquenchable competitive thirst make this squad inventive in the attack and tireless on defense. Led by the triumvirate Captain Ryan Schwepfinger, the Spring 2011 Barons is resolute in its desire to leave its own enduring imprint this season.

Barons Nation can expect an electrifying campaign comprised of early exponential growth, followed by some exciting conquests and culminating in the arduous climb to the IHL Championship.

Meet the Barons: Brian Williams

Meet the Barons

Brian Williams

Forward

West Chester, OH

1)   What does it mean to be a Baron?

Champion. Just nice to have a group of guys who enjoy the game but want to win and know when its time for business.

2)   What is your favorite moment as a Baron?

I assume the same as everyone else’s, holding those championship tee's in Nationwide Arena.

3)   What are your goals for this upcoming season?

Getting better. I'm a little newer to the hockey league then most, but I started getting a better feel for the puck near the end of the season, I hope I can continue improving and contribute more and more.

4)   How important is Barons Nation?

How many teams have 20-30 people in the stands as loud as we do? Makes it way more fun, and puts the pressure on the other team.

5)   What is one thing you’d like to say to the rest of the IHL?

We're the champs. Until you knock us off the top rung of the ladder we're going to be the favorites and we're not going to be afraid of anyone below us.